


Robo Hottie

by dapperghost



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hot, M/M, Robots, Ship, Smexy, awww yee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:38:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperghost/pseuds/dapperghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk builds Hal a body and finds it more attractive than he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Robo Hottie

**Author's Note:**

> blah blah still have other fics blah blah whatever anyways. this is another ironically crappy fic so any bad grammar and other shit is on purpose. but its great so anyways yeah. hot dirkhal smexitimes aww yiss

It was a sunny day when Dirk had come to a decision. Hal had been bugging Dirk for years about giving him a body to work with, and Dirk had finally finished it. It was a masterpiece. It had to be since Dirk was going to date this robot. Yeah yeah one might call it vain to date yourself, but ay whatever. Hal wasn’t technically him right? Naaaah. Not at all. 

Anyways though Dirk had finished the final touches on da robo bod, makin it smoking hot as ever. He smirked sugoily, his shades glinting in the indoor sun. How suns get indorors we dunno man. With a flick of his wrist, he snatched the shades off the side table near his worktable, and talked tio them. It might look crazy but it where hal the auto-respoonder lives. 

“Hal, you ready for ithis baby? I got it all done man. You’re gon love it trust me.” 

“PSh took you long enough. Already its been 99% more days than I can tolerate. Finally I can move and not have to look at your ugly face 24/7, or whatever the fuck you’re lookin at yourself.” 

“Ay don’t be rude. I did just work tirelessly to make you this shit. Plus you know you like my ‘ugly face’.” 

“True. However I would like to experience my new body as soon as possible so if it isn’t any troobles for you that would be fantastic.” 

 

“Alriiiight fine whatever here we go.” 

Dirk set the shades on the face of the robot, and grinned evilly as it started to booted up. “MWAHAHAHAH” he said. He was obviously laughing maniacally. 

Once the body was booted up all the way, Hal blinked, looking around and strestchin his fabu limbs for the first time.

“Domo arigato Mr Robato.” Dirk said with a grin, flashing a smile at the new body. 

“Hey there hawt stuff” Hal replied, and Dirk almost swone. He had givein da robot body a voice of an angel. Hot dayum. 

“Holy fuck you hawt man.” Dirk say, choking on his own perspireation. He hnad not counted on makin his robo boyfrond so smexy. 

“Ain’t that a bit vain? Seeing as you mad me and technicalllhy are me?” Hal replied, handin dirk Dave’s tshirt to dry off with. Dave wouldn’t mind right? Psh of course nawt. 

Dirk took the butterfll pony tshirt and wiped himself dry, rolling his eyes to; the sun. “Psh like I care. It tru man. Now mack on me.” 

“But how do one mack? I nrver mack before.” 

“You a robot you figure it out. Internet it or something.”

“Psh silly dirk you don’t interent things you google or search them up. You dweeb.” Hal chuckled robotically.

Dirk knew that, but he jus liked hearin Hal correct him. It always got ihim hot nd bothered to be corrected by the auto-responder. He could already feel himself get turneded on. 

Meanwhile hal was looking up how to mack, his eyes scanning da air readin webpages only he could see. Damn he was good at dis. He didn’t notice Dirk getting hot n bothered by his robosmexiness as he finally figured it out. 

He grabbed Dirks face, smooshin em together and givin Dirk the bestest macks ever, makin the human Strider see stars up in the air. Woo dayum Dirk thought. He was swoonin while still not swoonin. It is a weird paradox but totes tru. 

Hal was an expert kisser, and Dirk could feel his own D getting all up n at em like the running starter at a baseball game. Its obvious nobody knows anytihin bout sports. But yep the d is up. Hal notice this and raise a brow.

“Hot n bothered hmmm?” He ask, asking dirk that. 

“Sh-shut up you dingus robo pants.” Dirk stutter, staring at the wall. His face was redder than the tomatos in da store. 

“I think I can fix it man. Lemme try.” Dirk had given Hal workin genitals in his work, because if its his robo bf they needed to smex obviously. And so they bangaranged super hard. The end.


End file.
